Brain Chemisty

Hi everyone.

I'm trying to pick up the pieces right now. I have been thrown for a loop. I can't quite explain the nature of what I've just gone thru and am continueing to go thru. I am thankful for friends, family and church people. There are a ton of people who care for me.

I have been betrayed, and then on top of that my home is going away. This has been a long battle. I am overwhelmed, but my family will stick by me and help me thru this. I have reached a bottom, one that I didn't reach even when my X left. Surprisingly, my x-husband has been supportive thru all of this.

I was at death's door, contemplating suicide. I knew it would hurt a lot of people, but I did not care. Such is the nature of mental illness/depression.

Nothing really mattered.

The anxiety I felt for the past two weeks has subsided. I feel ugly and horrible. And the funny thing is that the girl I spoke with today, the one that stole my lover's heart told me that she thinks she's a loser, that she has nothing and i have everything.

My boyfriend and I split amicalbly. It was beautiful and sweet and lovely. And I was sad and depressed and going thru perimenopause, so that made it all more intense.

Within weeks he was with another woman, thinner, younger more beautiful. And it killed me and they are spending every night togher, and that hurts.

Why do I want him back she asked me, if he has a temper and is bipolar... and I told her that there was so much history between us. His mother loved me and my son. His family loved me. We spent holidays together. It just hurts that we ended it and he found someone else so soon.

This is all I can share tonight.


  1. Dear Andrea:

    I am sorry that you are hurting and have been concerned for you and for Oliver. Almost from the beginning there were "red flags" about this man that seemed frightening. As cliche as this sounds, you will get over this. You are a strong woman and, with the support of your family, friends, Matt and your readers, will heal. You and Oliver deserve better. I am thinking of, and praying for you through this sad time.

    xo a friend

  2. Andrea,
    Sending you hugs,prayers and strength. This journey is tough and down right unfair.
    I'm sorry that you are hurting. Please know that you are important, beautiful and deeply loved by so many.


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