Christmas is Only 5 Days Away

This morning it occurred to me as Oliver was opening his Advent Calendar. It's the 20th! Christmas, more importantly, Christmas Eve is just around the corner.

My house is a mess. My presents are not wrapped. Cookies have been made (pics are a-comin') and I'm still not even sure what our plans are. So it is with my family, my life. My guess is that it's just me and Oliver on Christmas Eve. That's fine. It can be just the two of us. Christmas Day my sister flies into town. My father is coming for dinner. My brother? It's up in the air. My sister-in-law wont be here (working); my nephews: one may come with his father, the other is at his girlfriend's family for the holiday. My other sister of course is still not speaking to me nor are her daughter and grand-daughter, and for the record, I still don't know why.

I've been watching that incredible video that Apple has produced, which I included at the end of this post, and each time I can't get thru the thing without bawling. :) The video shakes my shoulders and remind me that my life certainly didn't exactly turn out the way I wanted.

My life with Oliver today is our new normal. We both have adjusted, and I think there are still times that having to live in two homes is not easy for Oliver. I know it's not. My heart goes out to him during those times. My heart breaks for me too sometimes. But life goes on. Love goes on! So do we.

I am so grateful my business is doing well. I haven't yet shared what I do with you. Or have I? I don't even remember! :) I am a designer, and I design websites. You wouldn't know it looking at RP however! Physician heal thyself? Designer, design thine own website shall ye? … Someday…

The last three months of this year have been quite profitable for me. If I can keep it up, I wont be needing a job! I've quit looking actually. I'm happy doing this for many many reasons; one being that I have time to spend with my child. Most of the mothers I see at school are SAHM's and you'd never know that I am not one of them! ;)

That being said, I could afford to get Oliver a tree house bed from PotteryBarn this Christmas. He received it just two weeks ago and he loves it. I was going to give it to him as a surprise for when we moved, but since we are not moving (not now, not for a long time hopefully.... keep praying please!) I decided to have it delivered here (it was being held in their warehouse). I also bought him an organic mattress. Don't get me started on all the chemicals they put in a regular mattress… This one is latex and has an organic cotton and wool covering. Wool actually helps moderate body temperature, is a natural water repellent and a fire retardant! I love it. Yes I've slept on it. Which means yes, I've slept in the tree house bed. Yes, my childhood dreams may have had something to do with getting this for me him. (Crap, that was a REAL typo!) I purchased organic sheets and then threw caution to the wind and supplied him with Target cotton pirate themed quilting and pillows. It's super cool and once I have it all nice and pretty for you to see, I'll post pix.

I know it's been a while since I last posted. Work has been busy! Holidays! Life! And truly, everything is good today. Ups and downs. Who doesn't have those. I still cry sometimes, but I've come to grips that feeling deeply is part of my make up. I don't let anything stop me or pull me down. And if I do, I reach out. I reach out to friends, family, my God or sometimes even you. :)