It’s Gone.

It took less than 30 minutes for my home to sell at today’s sheriff’s sale. I’m not sure who the new owner is; the bank, I assume.

I know we wont have to move for 90 days. Thanks Obama. I don’t care which way you vote, and I’m not advocating one way or another by saying thank you to Mr. Obama. But Thank you President Obama. Because of something you did, we have 90 days to find a new place to live.

And there may be another program out there to help us move. I’m looking into it.

I’m trying to think of this as an adventure (thanks Crys) ... and I am thankful for your incredible emails, your voicemails (Pamela, your voice is so so soothing....) and well, I ... I want to apologize for seeming like I am always in a pickle. I want to find a day, and I think it will be soon, where most of this, all of this actually, can be behind me. I want my biggest worry to be a cable-blackout, a spilled glass of milk, maybe even a bag of lettuce that’s gone bad. I remember when I had those “high-class” problems. I want those again. My sweetheart reminded me once that he was not going to feel sorry for me when I called 2 hours into my drive home from Door County complaining that my vacation home was so far away. (Cough, cough... do you get his drift??) ;) Yeah, those kinds of problems I want again. Oh to be so unfortunate... ;)

So... adventure.

Matt moved too this weekend. He left his apartment and moved into a house. He’s rented a house in the same city he’s been living (30 minutes away), and he actually did a great job with Oliver regarding his move. They had a “moving party” and Oliver told me afterwards, “Moving is fun Momma!” Sounds like Oliver enjoyed participating, and actually begged his daddy to stay in the new house last night. They have a few more days in the apartment until they move the beds, etc.

I guess I’ll take a clue and do the same. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. I’ve looked at several places. Oh.. nothing is as nice as my home. Honestly, nothing is as nice as my apartment upstairs that I rent out at a VERY. DECENT. PRICE. When I raised the rent by $150, the girls upstairs moved out. Now that I look around town, I see what I raised it to was very reasonable. I have made the unit overly nice for what one gets up there. I’d jump at the chance to live upstairs for what I charged for rent. Wow. Slim pickin’s out there.

I’m pretty sure I know where I’ll go next. I will most likely stay in this village. I thought about moving to another city. I don’t do well with changes. Too many changes will send me into a depression, one which I’m fighting right now.

I will keep you posted. Thank you for your calls, messages, emails. I love you guys! :)

PS. Kaz, Kaz, Kaz. How did I get so lucky to have YOU in my life? What an angel you are...


  1. I'm sorry you are going thru this. It sucks, and yet I hear you being optimistic. It's grief that has knocked on your heart again. But it will pass like all the other times you experienced it, whether a day or weeks of it.

    What does the modern apartment look like? Maybe with rents and heat, the costs would be the same? In our town, we have a few modern buildings just recently built. They are energy efficient and energy bills are super cheap. I'm in the midwest too where it gets cold. Might be nice to have underground parking and a halfway warm car to enter in the winter. Are there parks around?

    I'm a fan of keeping kids in the same school if you can. I know Oliver is just in K5, and he will adjust, but if you can swing it, maybe it's best to stick with where you live now.

    I have been praying for you and my church group has been too. This will pass! It will. A fresh start, a new sunny place, good amenities, and soon you'll be saying, "What house?"... it's you and Oliver that Oliver will remember most. How he felt when he was with you. That's what counts.

    You love him, he adores you. That's a good life!


  2. What a challenging, difficult time. I'll be praying for you doubly.

  3. see, you're o.k., Andrea. i knew you would be. i applaud your generosity in praising how Matt handled his move & it's impact on Oliver. taking the high road always has benefits. and the benefactor of your behaviour is Oliver - as it should be. you'll find a place and make it home because home isn't the building it's what you bring in your heart. i agree with the other annonymous comments about moving. still praying for you, Oliver and Matt as you continue to navigate this part of the journey. xo

    1. Thanks.... thanks for acknowledging the effort I make to put aside my hard feelings for Matt. The other day at the playground he was talking to me and laughing about things and I just thought, "Don't you get it? They took the house away TODAY. I'm hurting. And you're not even giving any thought to how hard this is for me." ... instead I smiled and laughed a fake few laughs with him, my eyes darting around trying to catch glimpses of my son. It's def a decision to take the high road. But, its also in my nature to be forgiving. To let go and move on. Just hard sometimes.

      Thanks for commenting.

  4. Thank you everyone. Now I just have to hope that with my new business and financial occurances this year, that I will qualify for an apartment. They do background checks and credit checks. With everything that happened in this divorce, I hope they will give me an apartment. Prayers are helpful. Just want to find a place and stop holding my breath.

  5. Andrea,

    So sorry about having to sell your home. It just doesn't seem fair however then again nothing in this has been fair has it. I still continue on my path and think of you & Oliver daily.

    1. Hi Diane. I **wish** I was selling this home. Not my choice. It was returned to the bank. Foreclosed w/o my approval nor warning from Matt. I had a two week notice. That's all. My hands were tied. Nothing I could do. It was a revenge move on Matt's part. He was angry and chose this. No warning. No phone call. Had he called me, we could have worked it out. He rather I lose the home and pay for "what I had done" to him.

      Fine. Be mad at me. Send me out of the house. But sheesh... your little boy lives here too, the ONLY stable home in this stupid divorce. Find another way to get back at me.

      To take the high road (as another reader said) is hardly easy. I wonder why I even give him the time of day sometimes.

      But life goes on. Nothing I could do to stop this. All I can do is scramble to get a nice place and create a comfortable life for my little guy and myself.

      Thank you so much for checking in. I oft wonder how things are on your end. Did you guys ever make it back together? I sure hope so. Divorce is much harder. No rewards.

  6. I'm sorry I used the term sell - that would have been a much better scenario as at least you'd have perhaps had a choice.
    No, we are not back together. My H is still on his path, I carry on with my life the best I can. I pray that we reconcile as I agree divorce offers no rewards, not even for them - they just haven't figured that out yet.
    Sending prayers that you find a place for you and Oliver - a place filled with love, laughter and peace.

    Hugs, Diane

    1. Oh Diane, I will pray for you too. Do you have children? You don't have to keep replying here. If you'd like to email me, that's fine too. :) azehnder at gmail.... Take care... PS. I love what you wrote... not even for them - they just haven't figured that out yet. Maybe they never will.


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