The Morning After

This all still feels so surreal. I understand that many people lose their jobs. I've now joined the 3 million others who are currently unemployed.

This is different.

GS was my home. A family in a way. It’s the only job I’ve had really since I graduated from college 9 years ago. It was the only place I wanted to work when I was in school. My whole portfolio was geared to get a job at that agency. I had my sights set on it, and the job fell into my lap, literally.

I was working at a small shop when I was in my last year of college. It was a very small interactive agency, about 7-8 people, two of whom were principles.

A month or so after I graduated, I sat in my office at this little agency. I was bored. I was not doing work that was exciting to me. I was not where I wanted to be. I wanted to be at GS. I closed my eyes that day. I can still remember my desk. “Please God. I don’t know what to do. This is not what I was hoping for. Shouldn't I get my butt out there now and look for a job at GS — or anywhere?”

Then a small voice, a thought wrapped in certainty came to me. Hold tight. Stay where you are — for now. Shocked that the answer was so clear, I sat in my seat with disappointment. I stayed and made no attempt to look for another job.

No less than a month later, the team was called into a meeting. The two owners stood up and told us they had some bad news and some good news. The bad news was that our agency was going to close its doors. The good news? We were purchased by GS Design.

I was shocked. Happy isn’t the word. Glad, yes. Amazed at how my life was unfolding? Yes. And very glad that I had listened to that small quiet voice which told me to be still.

*  *  *  *  *

Today I fed my son a hot breakfast. We ate together; I got him dressed and took him to camp. He's with the sitter for the rest of the day. I’ve made as many calls in the past 24 hours that I could think of. I’m meeting a friend for lunch who’s been thru this before, many times. The rest of the day is open until I pick up my son. And as far as Oliver is concerned, he knows nothing. Nothing has changed for him. He's only 4.

I’ve decided that each day I will rise at the same time as usual. I’ll shower and get ready. I’ll put make up on, eat, read, pray and maybe even add a morning walk to my daily routine. Each day I will do something, anything, to make forward progress to get a job. One of the other women that was let go yesterday plans to take it easy and spend time with her child. While I plan to spend a lot more time with Oliver, there will also be a part of each day dedicated to seeking employment.

There’s a lot on my list. The butterflies in my stomach wont let me relax until I feel I’ve accomplished taking care of myself and my son, emotionally and financially.

Thanks for all your support friends. Those who have left comments on RP, those who contacted me on FB, email, texts, who’ve phoned, stopped by and called. It means so much to me!!


  1. Oh, this put a lump in my throat. Just because I've grown to endear you through your blog and simply don't want you having to walk through this.

    The things I know for sure are the things that people say that make you want to pull your hair out because they're so cliche. But, I'll say it anyway: God is near. He saw this coming. He was not caught off guard. He is working all things together for YOUR good. Let that marinate.

    In the meanwhile, I hope you find clarity in how to take care of yourself and of Oliver. One day, this will make sense. That day just ins't today...


  2. You are going to be fine. You're going to be better than fine. I read a sentence in a novel today and it resonated for me and I think for so many of us: "My life getting better but it ain't getting any easier."

    As long as you keep learning and growing that's you. That's me. That's all of us who just keep going. Sometimes gracefully, and sometimes not. But it doesn't matter how. Just keep swimming.

    1. Thank you Mutant .... ;)

      It's weird ’s all. Surreal. And so many folks, myself included, think not much of it cause it ain’t happened to them (yet). Then it happens and I'm all like, OMG, my life is not as I thought it was. Yet again. Wonder when I'll stop being surprised by life's changes?



Post a Comment

Your comments are helpful! Thanks!