Be Careful of What You Wish For

On July 8th I wrote:

Time away from Milwaukee is sparse and precious. To be alone with my son for several days in a row is a rare occasion. I wish I had more time up here (I am careful of what I wish for since the economy has put the fact that I am employed at the top of my gratitude list daily).

Today I lost my job.

(Pause)

It's strange to write those words. I knew it was going to happen; I knew it when I was called up to the office. I knew it yesterday. I knew it on Sunday. I've known for weeks. Months. Maybe even a full year.

Oh sure, there's been no concrete evidence. Just the Universe kindly dropping little clues, about the size of a two ton truck dropped in my front yard kind of clue. Nothing major. I knew it. I saw it coming. Turned my head to it. Sort of.

Go ahead, feel bad for me. Because you know what the full picture is? It's this:

My home is in foreclosure.
We are filing for bankruptcy.
Then getting divorced.
In March I'll have to move out of my home.

And now I don't have a job.

Yet, I'm still in shock. I'm just am trying to wrap my head around it all. They were gracious about it. It's a lay off. Two of my friends were let go as well, one with 19 years there. The other had 7. I would have had 9 in September. First lay offs in the 25 years our agency has been in business. I left with recommendations and more. No one was happy about it. I took it with as much grace and dignity as I could muster.

Lets look at the bright side, shall we? I will be visiting you more on RP. In fact, I may even get my blog design completed! I do have my new URL too... Just that there's nothing there for you to look at yet. And now I have time to pack up my home to move, time to sort thru stuff, time to get my portfolio together, time to write, design. I've already started networking and already got a freelance job tip. Lots of beautiful farewells have been bid to me from my sweet coworkers. People reaching out. Now THAT makes me want to cry. I'll miss them.

And yet, it's just another new stage of my life.

To be perfectly honest, this is still NOTHING compared to when Matt left me. NOTHING. NOTHING like it at all.

This time I have fears, fears that I haven't even allowed myself to think about just yet. Maybe anger? I don't know. Regrets? Yep. Blame? Ha, I want to blame Matt, but that's a far reach. I just have to tap into prayer and get centered there.

As I left the office this morning, my God Calling app sent me a notice that I had not read my devotion today. Here's what it said:

Guardian Angels

You are Mine. Once I have set on you My stamp and seal of ownership all My Hosts throng to serve and protect you.

Remember that you are daughters of a King

Try to picture a bodyguard of My servitors in the Unseen waiting, longing, efficient, to do all that is necessary for your well-being.

Feel this as you go through the day. Feel this and all is well.


I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

Keep me and Oliver in your prayers. Tonight I go back to the office to get my things. I'll see you tomorrow! Ha! You wont be able to get rid of me for a while!

Love, Andi





Comments

  1. Andrea,

    I am so sorry. I will keep you and Oliver in my prayers. May the love and strength of God be with you.

    Big hugs,
    Diane

    ReplyDelete
  2. Watch this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koutUz0Im48

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just in case you didn't know, I am thinking of you and know this is a reallly hard time. Unreal for sure. Breath. You told me this more than once and so now you get the benefit of your wisdom. And this too shall pass and be sure there is something better out there so please hug your son, and all of us who love you and admire you and appreciate you as you do us, warts and all, because we can are there. So, what do you need tonight? and tomorrow? and the next day ?because you shall receive that without a doubt. You are a brilliant woman with a loving son and therefore most blessed.

    love you....
    JH

    ReplyDelete

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