And then the dream dies

It happened again. If you had asked me what some of my most favorite films have been, I'd tell you that Heartburn with Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson is one of them.

This past weekend at the cottage I put the DVD in. I haven't seen Heartburn since before Matt left. Again, little did I know that another one of my favorite films would foretell my future. How could I have known? I've seen this film over 50 times. Like the scene from Hope Floats, this film has scenes that describe my experiences, perfectly.

It's a film from the 80's, and if you haven't seen it, I truly recommend it. Below is one of my most favorite scenes from the movie, altho there are many that are so well-written and acted. I could have written Rachel's (Meryl Streep) monologue. (It was written by Nora Ephron, and is a loose autobiographical story inspired by her marriage to Carl Bernstein.)

The scene below is the end of the film, so if you are planning on seeing it, don't watch the clip or read past the warning signs of this post.

A little context: the clip below is a dinner party with friends. The hostess (blonde) loves to share gossip and has just told a story about a couple who's marriage broke up recently. The wife left her husband for another woman. She poses a question to her guests (commas inserted are directly from the original script and suggest pauses in speech):

How could you be with someone, that long, live with them, love them enough to want to marry them, and not know?

Prior to things happening in my own life, I probably would have asked that same question. Today, I completely identify with the narrative. It's amazing how sometimes films really do echo real life.

How about you? Do you have a favorite film who's lines reflect just how you think or went thru in your life?


Here's the script. It was just so well said, well written.

Which brings me back to my question.
How is it possible to live with someone
and not know something so fundamental?

It's possible.
It is possible to... It is possible...
...well, to love someone so much,
or to think that you
Want to love them so much
that you just don't even see anything.
You decide to love him.
And you decide to trust him,
and you're in the marriage.
And you're in the...
You're in the day-to-dayness
of the marriage and...
You sort of notice that things are not
the way they were, but it's...
It's a...
A distant bell.
And then when things do turn out
to have been wrong,
it's not that you knew all along.
It's just that you were...
...somewhere else.

You'd have to be living in a dream.

Yes. So...
And then the dream dies.
And the dream breaks into a million tiny little pieces
which gives you a choice. You can stick with it, which is unbearable or you can just go off and dream another dream.

Tomorrow Soon, I will answer that question:

How could you be with someone, that long, live with them, love them enough to want to marry them, and not know?