So you may THINK this has something to do with my love life (or lack thereof) but alas, for not. (Altho I have had an ephemeral relationship with this song lately....)

Instead, I had a visit with Molly last night. And I really like the results.

This is the culmination of months of planning. There is no crazy bleaching going on, therefor my hair will not get fried. As well, this is STEP 1 of 2 in the lifting process. In a couple weeks I will go back and have more highlights added in.

I don't have make up on yet, and I did not have any on last night when I took these snaps, so you'll have to wait until I pretty up to see my face.

*     *     *     *     *

IN THE MEAN TIME, I'd sure appreciate some prayers. Why? Well, I have been high and on top of the world lately. Life has been great. I've been sailing along more confident and self-assured than ever. Truly, that is how it has been for me the past couple months! Yay for me!

However, the last two weeks of work have been very, very difficult for me. It is especially difficult because I love my job so much. And now, I have become more dependent than ever upon my job. I need this job. Prior to this, I only worked because I liked to work, because the benefits were great. I sort of needed to work, but we could have gotten by without my income. Today I am supporting myself about 95% if not more. The choice of whether or not to work has been removed. I cannot lose this job anymore. It's been a big, big challenge lately — the past two weeks to be exact. I wont post details; I simply have to take a good look at myself and see what I can do to improve the situation.

and then....

GRIEF. La douleur du rejet has arrived upon my doorstep. It's nothing like the past hurts. Trust me. Nothing. Yet because this is a process, there’s pain. There’s an abundance of anger. Both linger under the surface much like hot magma feeding a volcano. The poisonous gases {yes, they are truly poisonous to me, and to Oliver I suspect} bubble. If they sneak out, it affects my tone, it devours my patience. When I erupt, anger and tears fall about.

Beneath the surface it really comes down to this: I've been hurt, badly.

Friends, I'm progressing in a very positive direction. I am. I'm happy about that. This is just going to be the way it is — ups and downs, for a while I suspect. It's healthy. It's part of the process of letting go and moving on. Luckily these past two or three days of vulnerability are nothing compared to the past. Just a bump in the road. OK, a friggin’ pot hole. (And if you live in Wisconsin, you know how bad they can be.)

So I hurt. Oliver hurts too. We could use your prayers for the next few days.

Well, off to work now. I have to get my Peanut dressed and ready for school, and I have to pretty up this face. :) See you soon!!

*     *     *     *     *

I couldn't have said it better myself Blondie....

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much of mistrust, love's gone behind

Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losin' my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Much of mistrust, love's gone behind

In between
What I find is pleasing and I'm feelin' fine
Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losin' you it's just no good
You teasing like you do

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much of mistrust, love's gone behind

Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
We could’ve made it cruising, yeah

Yeah, ridin' high on love's true bluish light

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out big pain in thee ass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much of mistrust, love's gone behind


  1. Can't wait to see real pics of hair (with face...) - looks very natural, great.
    You (and Oliver) are in my thoughts and the same time, you know, I've always found that HAVING to work/do your job is the biggest hurdle to job satisfaction. :)

    That being said, I bet if you feel more in control, you'll feel better...I'd consider getting your resume in order...get a friend to read it and help you with it (friends are usually great and fairly cost effective!). Look at jobs you would find ideal, write the resume for them. First, the exercise will remind you of how accomplished you are. Second, it will give you the comfort of knowing that if you need a different/new job, you're ready to hit the ground running. Almost guaranteed to make things better.

    with best wishes...


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