A Reminder of Why I Have to Be Strong

He's beautiful, funny and delightful.



He's playful, inquisitive and teachable.



He loves me, needs me and likes me.



He adores me, trusts me, relies on me.



He's strong, brave, and adventurous.



He's curious, fearless, and eager.



He's happy, free, and loved.



He sleeps in my arms, cuddles into my breast and knows how warm and safe that place is.



It's very difficult for me to break free at times...



From the loneliness, sadness and self-pity.



Yes, I had it good. Very good. I was loved. So very very loved.



It's hard to watch someone you love slip away, become someone you never ever thought you would have to deal with.



I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this life... but I have to, I absolutely have to keep on so that this little man will continue to feel safe, loved and secure. So that he will know for now and for ever that I love him. I think I am the best mom for him... I am. He is special, beautiful, kind, sensitive, sweet. He trusts me. And I just can't let him down. I am working my butt off to get over this with dignity. I fail at times, but I keep trying. For my son I have no choice anymore. I brought him into this world. I cannot let him down. I have to be strong.

Photo credit: Kelly Fisher Photography.