Moving Forward

I looked back over the past year and re-read some of my posts. Are you guys getting sick of hearing me talk about “moving on”? :) I know, I know... same old same old. Well, it’s been more than a year of limbo with a lot of ups and downs. I have been told I’m growing stronger, and I guess in some ways I am. Some times I feel as if I’m not however. I think to myself, “Here we go again...” as I spiral downhill into another smattering of annoyances, alone and disquieted in the dark with my cavernous brain speaking nonsensical mischief to me.

So what’s a gal to do?

I have decided that I need to embark upon a few projects of the creative variety to boost my self-esteem. This upcoming season I’ve been inspired to create a little visual memoir called a December Daily. A gal friend of mine does this every holiday season, and I thought it would be nice for me to get my mind off crap (rejection) and focus on the good in my life. I want to say EFF U the people (person) who thinks I suck. :) I’m going to build a nice life for myself and not let this depression or this friggin relationship drag me down. Enough already. If “he” thinks I’m not worth it, oh well. Right? Time for me to get moving if I want to live and survive this sh*t. Sorry to get so profane, but I guess I have to do something drastic. (like swear more!) ;) So it’s either this or find myself on Match.com looking at temporary fixes, and altho it’s tempting to have “a” date, I’m definitely not ready “to” date. :) Thanks Rega...

First, lets take one quick look at the real love of my life. He’s enough for me right now.



Isn’t he adorable? OK, now I can move on.

Next on the “I’m Movin’ On” list is my running program. I haven’t divulged much about that seeing as I’m not too proud of myself. But I think it’s time to take a step back and look at what I’ve accomplished. When I started running just a few weeks back (um, end of June actually) I could barely make it .5 mile. I think I had to walk the last block, even after training with my Couch to 5K app. (Did I ever show that to you? Ah yes, I think I did....) I think I was a bit intimidated by my size 8 and a half running shoes. (...and the number of blocks one has to run to just get to a mile!) These kicks are huge! I have tiny ankles the way it is, and now with the clown shoes on, I look ridiculous. So whatever. I went out and did my usual: bought a ton of running shorts, bras, tops, etc etc. I must say, some are quite cute. I shopped mostly at Target as the prices are LESS than half. My biggest splurge and favo bottom is from Athleta and it’s this. Love it. (Never mind that model’s boney arse. Mine certainly doesn’t look like that! My plump bottom fills out this skort nicely!)

Time to let you know, however, that I'm finally up to 2.25 miles. Yup. I love it, and it’s a breeze, and I could actually go for another run tonight too (I just ran at 6pm). Did I mention that I joined a running group? We meet at 6pm every Monday. There are about 10 of us (only about 5 of us left; we’re dropping like flies...) and not one of us had a lot of recent experience running. We are training for a 5K. I have two weeks left to propel myself up another mile. Keep your fingers crossed, I’m a bit behind the group. It’s been a bit of a challenge to train with Oliver around. (I can blame him, can’t I?) Last time we ran together he trotted alonside me with his balance bike. After only 1/2 mile he got tired and demanded I carry him and the bike. When I explained that just wasn’t physically possible, he plopped himself down in the middle of the road and refused to budge, much like a stubborn mule. I do not have much experience with mules, and likewise, I wasn't quite sure how to motivate my Peanut. He sat there for quite a while. Luckily we were in Door County for this battle of wills, so I could just relax, watch the waves, feel the heat of the sun and take a few deep breaths. Eventually I got the bike. Oliver, obstinate as he was, consented to walking beside me complaining loudly at how tired he was thee entire walk home. Yep, I do not get much practice in when he’s with me. I try to fit in a run in the morning before work on Wednesdays, and then on Saturday mornings. Both of those mornings, Oliver is with his father.

Two weeks. It’s all I got. Hell, I’d even be proud if I had to walk part of the 5K. It’s what I did for the breast cancer walk a few weeks back. And I still felt great afterwards.

So that’s it... those are the two things on the horizon. Maybe a bit of Halloween baking in the near future. I’ll surely show pix if I do.

And I might mention that in the last, oh, uh, maybe month I’ve lost a few pounds. I’m back in the high 120’s now. Thank goodness. I was up to the mid-to-high-30’s for a while there. It feels good not to spill a little overflow into those jeans! ;) And it feels great to have my tummy a bit flatter. Now if I can get down to the low 120’s or less, I’d be set. I actually have the courage to face the WW scale. I’m still within my healthy weight range. Yay!

I’d like to leave you with this little quote. It popped up out of nowhere today, and I had a little giggle when I read it.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other, or ever so similar before-hand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.

 Jane Austen

SIDE NOTE: If you can, please pray for my dear friend Pamela and her family. Her husband Ron was laid off this week and I know the family could use your prayers. I pray they trust that they will be OK and that Ron find work soon.

Thank you!