While I Breathe, I Hope

Dum spiro, spero. (Latin Proverb)

I am not giving up hope. There is no reason to doubt that things could and will turn around. I'm not going to be the one to end this marriage; time means nothing to me; I am in no rush to get into another relationship; I have every reason to leave no stone unturned.

So please be patient as I walk thru the fire because I have a little child, I have a life, I have wonderful memories and a lot of good things that came from my marriage. I do have faith that this will work out, and you know what? If I keep doing the things I'm doing and keep putting one foot in front of the other, I have every reason to believe that I will be OK no matter what. No matter what.

But for now, I choose hope.

“When you say a situation or person is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God.”

Charles L Allen

oliver eating an orange

There will be good times again. I dream of my family reuniting. I am giving my husband time. If he chooses to move on, I will let him go gracefully. Until then, I'm going to keep a low profile. The meaning of crisis = short term. This wont last forever. My job right now is to focus on my self and my little boy. Be the best mom I can be. Be with friends and family. Do not burn bridges. Trust God. Have faith that Matt will come back to us.

I have reminders in case I forget....


I remember what Oliver said, out of the blue.... “He will come back to you, OK Momma? Daddy will come back to you.” Where did he come up with that? He's so intuitive — children are. Yet, I don't speak of these things to Oliver. I don't talk to him about what's really going on. I just love him up wherever he's at. And I tell him his Daddy loves him when he cries for his father. Because that much is true. Matt does love Oliver, more than any man could love a child.

I have no idea what Matt is going thru. I don't know what it's like to be a man who is losing everything: his business, his family, his youth. I don't know what regrets he has; what pain he faces; what he sees when he looks in the mirror. I ask God to let me see that man with God's eyes. I have always had to view my husband with someone else's eyes, because mine own are clouded; mine are faulty, bitter, hurt and angry. My own eyes are human. And now finally, I can see the man. Now that he is out of our home, I see my husband as a child of God, some mother's son, a young spirit. A wonderfully handsome man. His eyes as deep as the ocean, as blue as the sky. He's hurting too. There is no one in this circle without pain. I know he'd rather it be different too. What can I do? I cannot comfort him. All I can do is give him the space he needs to free himself from his unhappiness. And I don't want to stand in the way of that any longer.

I will step aside if he asks. Until then, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. I will allow all of us time and space. I will love my son, care for my son. I will continue to grow and learn. I will do my best to not bring more pain and drama to the situation.

I want to be better. I want to have a happier life too. Don't we all.

Wish me the best. I know many of you do. Your comments have meant the world to me. Your calls. Your texts. Your emails. Your thoughts. Your prayers. Your hope. Your love. It all helps carry me, lift me, lift Oliver and especially, to lift Matt.

“If you keep pushing a spouse that wants out of the marriage, you will eventually push them out the door. Give space, as hard as it may be.”

Michele Weiner-Davis

Oliver and daddy **

daddy and oliver

daddy and oliver

daddy and oliver *

I'm choosing happiness today. I'm choosing faith, hope and happiness.

“Although it's true that many marriages end in divorce (too many), just because your marriage may be fragile right now doesn't mean you have to become a statistic. I've worked with many people who've beat the odds. Keep hope alive.”

Michele Weiner-Davis


  1. Hi Andrea,

    you are absolutely on the right track. By staying under the radar and giving the husband the space he wants, you will preserve your dignity and respect.

    Only time will tell if he changes his mind and returns home. In the mean time you stay proud. Look after yourself, pamper yourself, love yourself. Have fun with that beautiful son of yours and make the best out of every day.

    Life is often ironic, by giving hime the space he needs, you will heal bit by bit and who knows, perhaps one day, you like the life you have created for yourself and Oliver and a reunion will no longer be your priority.

    Merry Christmas, take care!

  2. Do what you need to do so your life is lived without regret.

  3. Thank you to both of you! Those are profound and helpful comments. I appreciate it, more than you know.

    :) Andrea

  4. Hey! he's wearing Oakley Flak jacket sunglasses!! I have that pair, they are great for running, they don't move on my face... I saw the iMac on the other post! you guy are cool! lol



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