Unrequited Love & Thanksgiving

Today I am alone. It's Thanksgiving.

This is my choice. Matt has Oliver today, even though Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. But this year I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate. And I truly thought, It's just another day. So what did I care if Matt had Oliver today.

But pain waits patiently for an unsuspecting moment. Such were the first moments of the day. Before my eyes opened, my heart was filled with ache.

I do have plans for the day. And a few invitations that I respectfully declined. I have a list of things to do around the house that I have been wanting to get done.... little home improvements. At 4pm today, my son will arrive. We'll get directly into the car so that we can have dinner with my dad.

I. don't. want. to. do. this.

Let me repeat. I want to be with my husband and my son.

I had no idea this day would be so painful. 

My husband has plans for later in the day. Without me. I'm not invited. Oliver is with me by my choice. Matt was willing to do what I wanted with Oliver. What matters to me is that Matt doesn't want to be with me.

I just don't understand. I don't. I just don't get this. Why?