Heavy Heart

Hi friends. The week ahead has a few hurdles in it. Please keep me in your prayers. Each day thru Sunday contains a little something to face, and the most challenging will be on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday.

I've said this before — my journey is not easy. Each day still has ups and downs. The ups come more easily now. The downs still hit me like a brick wall, but I've learned to face them, walk thru them, shed any necessary tears and move on. I put that aside and look at what's in front of me. I have a good life. It's not exactly how I want it to be right now, but isn't that how it is for all of us at times?

Powerlessness. I think that is my greatest enemy, my greatest fear. When I accept it, my powerlessness, I do much better. If I give too much thought to those fears in my head, I am not living fully. I've been facing my fears instead of running from them. I've learned a lot about myself lately too. I'm truly hoping I'm stronger than I think.

I think it's those mornings when I wake and my son is gone and I have to head to work that I feel the most empty. It's one thing to lose a husband, a mate, a partner and friend. It's another to have the house quiet. Those thoughts in my head spin around. My heart is empty and aches for that little boy. Work will be a good distraction.

So, the week ahead poses certain challenges and I know I'll need some Divine Intervention to get me thru it! Because right now, self-powering is not enough. I want more than anything to stay in bed today and hide from the world, but I know that is not the right thing to do! Life is out there, and I have to put my hurts aside, look at the positive and keep movin'!

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet