Still in Mourning

A little lunch time post.

If I could bottle self-pity and sell it, I'd be rich. I'm indulging in it right now. For two reasons.

One: I want to eat COOKIE DOUGH! God, please send me some real, made-from-scratch, chocolate chip cookie dough! I'll eat the whole darn ball of it! I promise I'll do whatever you ask after. Just give me this one thing. Also, I'll take a Kopp's sundae too, with that REAL hot fudge, the kind that has some grit in it, texture. The kind that is served hot and thick, that melts the top of the custard peak. Mmmmmmm. I can taste it NOW. Next, I want to bite into a REAL hamburger. Grilled. Thick. Juicy. With grilled onions. And ketchup. On a nice Kaiser roll. I wouldn't mind a few french fries too! Those could be dipped in blue cheese dressing. OH SO GOOD! My mouth is watering now. Is that too much to ask? I would also like to eat a berry crumble/ crisp. Not just ANY crisp, but the kind they serve at Mission Grille in Sister Bay, Wisconsin that is hot and steamy, drenched in vanilla ice cream. OMG. YUM. And a great hot cup of coffee to go down with that. Why not?

I'm jones-ing for some unhealthy food. I need it. NOW!

Two: I cannot locate a sitter for tomorrow night. Matt and I have some place to go and I'm very VERY much missing my mother right now. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she passed away September 15th (the anniversary date is fast approaching) about 15 years ago. I miss her so. She had never met Oliver (here on Earth)... and I know she would have flipped over him, much like the way my father flips over him now. This child is the light of my father's life currently, and my mom would have adored him even moreso. I wish our family was closer, geographically speaking. My sister Marian cannot watch him because she is disabled with MS. My brother and other sister live outside of this state. My dad is too old to watch him. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law live in Switzerland. No place to just "drop him off" at, free of charge. Sad. I have a few friends that would do me favors. I hate to take advantage, but I have. My friend Leslie watched him while I hit up my WW meeting on Saturday. There's a pic of her in the post below. (Thanks Leslie!) Sarah, Oliver's GodMother, watched him last Tuesday for an hour or so. Sarah's great! She has a lovely daughter and son who adore Oliver. Problem is: his diapers. They don't get changed right away. I don't blame them. So there he sits, in a warm, wet steaming mess.

Today, I'm just so sad. :( I miss my Peanut and worked through my lunch and was not able to sneak in a kiss during the day. I love to go visit him. He's happy at the day care center. For that I'm glad.

Mondays are just so hard.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


I just ate about 4 mini Reese's PB cups. I feel better now.