How are you sleeping? Do you sleep thru the night?
This is the first thing my husband said to me this morning..... and I felt like this was a trick question.
I had to carefully calculate my answer. If I am to say yes, then he'll think I am not having sleeping problems, which I can say is somewhat true but not completely. I mean, I sleep about as well as I can. I wake each time I flip over (and I flip over about as gracefully as a whale). But then I fall right back asleep. I mean, that's not the end of the world, and it's a mild annoyance, yes. But no biggie. Then there's the light (well, i think it's light) snoring that I've developed. Yeah, that wakes me on occasion. But again, it's not the end of the world; something i can definitely tolerate. So the thing is, if I don't have problems sleeping, I might get "recognized" (a fancy word for blamed) for making all this commotion which prolly wakes him all night too.....
OK, but if i say, yeah, I'm having problems sleeping, then he might say, "Well when you are awake, could you keep it down or try to toss a little less drastically?"
See the thing is, I don't want to have to change anything or be responsible for anything because I'm pregnant, and I just can't help these things. So I have to think of which way is the best way to answer this.
And all this goes on in my head in less than 10 seconds..... what are my options? What are my consequences? How can I spin this to be in my favor? And then I think, Oh f- it. I'll answer truthfully.
"No honey, I don't sleep well. I don't sleep thru the night. I wake each time I have to turn over. In fact, my own snoring wakes me up."
"I thought so." says he.
I don't get it. Am I in trouble? See, I already know..... it's his way of telling me, Your snoring and your flap-jacking are waking me up...... but I don't want to say anything nasty because I'm being the supportive husband here. But just so you know, I hear and feel it all.
And he is supportive! He really is. I mean, he's trying at least. I know it's not easy. I'm pretty mellow when it comes to these symptoms, because I believe (and hope and pray dammit) that they will go away sometime. Not sure when, but someday, my life will return to normal, somewhat. Well, my body will, even if a few nips and tucks are necessary.
We had a chat a week or so back. I said to him that we'd better solidify our relationship now, or we are going to have some trouble after baby gets here. I know how he is when he only gets a few hours sleep for whatever reason. We'll both be sleep deprived for weeks...... not just one night or so! And we'll have a crying newborn on our hands. How are we going to get thru this w/o killing each other? When Matt is sleep deprived, he's insane! When I'm sleep deprived I'm crabby and nasty. So we may have a crabby, insane, nasty situation on our hands.
I'm not sure what the solution is at this point. Yoga? No.... I'm in no condition to stand on my head. Drinks? Neither of us can drink right now. Maybe we just need to write it down, commit to being nice, and pull the damn contract out on one another each time one of us snaps. Which, in the morning I know will be him.
And for the rest of the 22 hours, me.