2008 Happy New Year!

It's a new year and I'm glad it's 2008. I'm looking forward to this year and to the birth of our son who will be here shortly! I was just viewing some newborn portraits and am so excited to see his little face. Today he was moving around non-stop all afternoon. I hope he's having fun in there. I'm back at work, which I have to say I'm so glad I am. But after being off all those days in a row and being able to rest, relax and kickback, having to be present and ON all the time is really tiring! I was exhaust yesterday (my first day back) and today I couldn't wait to leave so I could just be home...... I love being home.

I was really crabby today too. And last night. I was kind to everyone at work today at least. It started last night, but I'm not sure what it was the triggered it. In any case, I'm home now and I didn't bite off my husband's head like I wanted to when I walked in the door. I waited at least a minute. ...... Just kidding. Kind of....

So last night I get home at about 9:30pm and find a message from my doctor's nurse stating that it's not an emergency but it's important that I call them back. Well, they have my work number and my cell phone for pete's sake. Why didn't they try me at either of those? So I had to wait until morning to call and wouldn't you know it, they didn't return my call until 4:30 pm today! Turns out that I failed the glucose pre-screening test this past Monday which qualifies me for a return trip to the lab for a much more fun 3-4 hour glucose screening test. Great. This one I have to fast for and I'll get stuck with a needle 3-4 times and have to drink twice the amount of the sugary liquid that sent me into dizzy land last time. Actually I don't really care about all that. What I care about is that I might have Gestational Diabetes or GDM and don't want to deal with all those complications. My husband thinks it's no big deal, just like everything else, and it's so nice that he's so optimistic but I can't stand his optimism when I'm wanting to be comforted and sit in in self-pity.

Actually, it's easy for him to say that GDM will be easy to deal with when he's not the one who has to deal with it. Same with the pregnancy! He thinks, oh, we'll just get thru the labor. My response is always the same: "You try pulling a football out of your ass!" Then he laughs and I'm ready to clobber him and hug him at the same time. I know if he really had to do that, he'd be freakin' out too!

Anyway, with the diabetes, there are complications and I first and foremost hope the baby will be OK (isn't that the right thing to say?) and secondly, I hope to God I don't have to shoot myself up with drugs the rest of my life, not even the rest of this pregnancy. Nor do I want to have an unusually large baby. Nor do i want a child who's going to be obese in his childhood. (Oh my goodness, I know I'm vain and all this wont matter once the child is born. Now you can see how sick I really am!) And nor do I want a C-section because who wants to have a scar like that, and who wants to have such a hard time recovering from the birth? As if it wont be difficult enough.

OK, I have one last thing to confess. Yesterday I was so thirsty and someone brought a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke into work to share. I couldn't resist! I poured myself about 4 glasses at least. Then I wondered why, all afternoon, the baby was doing summer salts and swinging from the umbilical cord like Tarzan. I wondered if he was having fun or if he was like so jittery and freaking out, tweaked out to the max. I can't believe I didn't think about all the caffeine I was taking. I mean, I drink about 1 cup of coffee a day, each morning. That's usually about it. I really OD'd on caffeine yesterday. And this poor little guy just went nuts. And he never stopped. It was about 10pm at night and he finally started to calm down. At 4am he woke me up with more fun and games.

Alright, so that was my confession and I'm sure it is just the first of many things I will feel guilty about regarding raising our little peanut. Tomorrow I get to see my doctor.... I'm now going to see her every 3 weeks for a while. I think during the last month I'll see her every week. Tomorrow I will find out more about the GDM, but there's not much more they will be able to tell me. I usually find out more info via the Internet anyway.

Thank you and have a good night. :)